No Links . . . No News -- You've Been Warned

I've been doing some thinking, some soul-searching, if you will, about why for the past couple of months blogging has become an active alternative to anything else my free time might have to offer. I'm not sure I have any answers, none that satisfy my initial question; but I do have some thoughts. I thought I'd share.

Silentio is a diversion, active and/or passive, for most everybody involved. For me, most of the time it's a nice, perhaps even healthy way, to include myself in a world from which I'm insulated most of the week. For you, all fifteen or so of you, it is probably a respite from work, and perhaps a portal to a news story, or a silly quip, that you might've missed or just didn't have time to follow up on. I don't feign to think I "break" any news here, or tell you much of anything you didn't already know, or couldn't learn elsewhere. I don't pretend to think I know why some of you return. Is being a diversion good enough? If so, should I, too, be content with that, and quit thinking about it any further? Oh, you who know me, know better than that.

In the course of any given day, mostly during lunch and dinner (just in case you were wondering), I read lots and lots of blogs -- many of which are linked on the right, and you are encouraged to click on at any time during the next couple of paragraphs. As you might have guessed, many, if not most, of these blogs are decidedly political in their posture, and thus also have a pretty obvious agenda to push; and obviously, this has influenced the vision and content of Silentio. However, truth be told, I don't particularly like most political blogs, due to the fact that so many refer more to one another than they do actual news or an opinion creatively expressed. Typically, theirs is a virtual dialogue, you might say. Or, to look at it another, a virtual party-line, be it "conservative" or "liberal," in which you can generally anticipate the blogger's perspective on what another blogger says. It's sort of like reading the The Wall Street Journal editorial page or the newest Michael Moore book -- you know what they'll say before reading a word, and generally even how it's going to be said. I'm not naming names, or pointing out "bad" blogs versus "good" ones, mostly because I'm not sure what my rating criteria would actually say about my blog.

As it stands today, if the blogosphere is a road map, Silentio is a gravel road just off the dirt road that inexplicably emerged from a cornfield two miles away from the state route that leads to the highway. You, my friends, most of you literally my friends, from days of old, are for the most part, like it or not, not included in that dialogue I just mentioned. We're alone -- crickets chirping -- traffic humming far in the distance -- rural mendicants, maybe squatters, huddled around a campfire, singing occasionally, arguing often, but never silent. No, never that. Silentio is yours as much as it is mine. This is what I tell myself, what I like to believe. I like to try, and that's all I can ever do, to write myself away, to erase myself (nevermore!) by writing ever more. But because blogging is the internet's quintessence of pretension -- you are reading MY words (right now, in fact), after all -- I can only ever keep trying, and thus keep failing, to lose myself in the midst of this maddeningly reflective, paratactic writing that, yes, as much as I wish it were not, intentional, and thus subversive to my stated goal. -- Blogging as progressive failure. -- I don't want to blog to reflect upon myself, to navel gaze, to direct your thoughts to my thoughts and thus to me. I'd prefer these words, these words that are me, or least a part of me, to be consumed by their links and be done with, nevermore, forevermore. Poof. And yet, I keep writing . . . and some of you keep reading (even now?). -- Blogging as failed progression. --

Back to the question, which, before my very eyes, has split: Why this? -- Why is this? -- Why, This? Perhaps you who thought it better not to ask were right. Likely so.

Back to your regularly scheduled program later. I promise.

UPDATE: This is related obliquely to the little exchange in the Comments, but it also resonants a little with what I was trying to do in this post; plus, it's just a pretty good article in general that I know for a fact several of you can relate to. The title should say it all: "Caring For Your Introvert".