Something for your free time

Get your pens and paper ready, kids, 'cause Cyprus needs your help. Yesterday, the UN began advertising a worldwide competition to design a new flag and national anthem for war-torn Cyprus. "Oh, I couldn't . . . where does one begin with such a daunting task," I hear you say! Rest easy, ye intrepid Cypriots, the UN assures us:

The flag should be easy enough for a child to draw and the anthem need not have lyrics, just a catchy tune between 30 and 60 seconds long.

Sounds easy enough! So, while you're huddled around the television this evening, soaking in its iridescent glow and the dim pallor of a prattling president, counting, if you can, the number of smirks, self-congratulation and references to "this is a good nation," use the inspiration gleaned to win yourself a lasting moment of glory. No sense in having your entire evening ruined, right?