If You Thought Losing Your Tits Was Bad...

I've been doing some web research about the philosophy and history of museums, but I've actually been spending more time goofing around in the various online museums I find along the way. If you've been bothered at all by the Bush administration's effort at tort reform, and, by the way, you should, or if your interest is just a twisted case of schadenfreude, check out The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices Online. Personally, my favorite is Dr. Foote's Timely Warning, which guards against the messy effects of "amorous dreams".

An amourous dream is indeed practically an involuntary act of masturbation. It has often been remarked that no exercise is so tiresome to the muscular system as to kick or strike at nothing. All know, too, how it wrenches one to step down a foot or two while walking. What this wrench is to the muscular system, an amative dream is to the nervous system. A volley of nervous force is gathered up from all parts of the body, and directed with the greatest impetuosity toward a supposed companion in th sexual embrace, and it passes off with violence and is lost, while the compensative nervous or electrical volley from the supposed companion is not received. In men this nervous loss is accompanied with an expenditure of some of the most vital fluids of th system- those secreted by the testicular glands, and which are composed of the most vital elements of the blood. This nervous waste - the nervous shock - the wrench of the magnetic system, as such as will, if frequently repeated, prostate the nervous energies, destroy the memory, and weaken all the faculties of the mind.

I don't know about you, but I'm sold!