Train Wreck

I don't normally jump on little gaffes politicians make, not even when they're funny, but this is one of the best ever.

A Bright Spot of a McCain Win

. . . . the Bay Area will suddenly become affordable, if all the good-hearted liberals around here are sincere in their conviction to move to Canada. I'm a get me a Marin county mansion!

Good Question

From Steve Benen:

Let's also not lose sight of the broader pattern. McCain thinks the recent conflict between Russia and Georgia was "the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War." He thinks Iraq and Pakistan share a border. He believes Czechoslovakia is still a country. He's been confused about the difference between Sudan and Somalia. He's been confused about whether he wants more U.S. troops in Afghanistan, more NATO troops in Afghanistan, or both. He's been confused about how many U.S. troops are in Iraq. He's been confused about whether the U.S. can maintain a long-term presence in Iraq. He's been confused about Iran's relationship with al Qaeda. He's been confused about the difference between Sunni and Shi'ia. McCain, following a recent trip to Germany, even referred to "President Putin of Germany." All of this incoherence on his signature issue.

I'm curious. What do you suppose the reaction would be from the political establishment if Barack Obama had made these mistakes over the course of the campaign? What would reporters, pundits, and Republicans have to say about Obama's ability to lead a complex world in a time of war and uncertainty?

I think an intellectually honest person would agree that if Obama had made these same mistakes he'd be labeled "clueless" on foreign policy. So, why the double-standard?

Good question.

Of course, we know the answer. As we rehearsed a few weeks ago, McCain has an adult perspective on these matters. Free pass for the adults when they flub details.

Sarah Palin ♥ Rapists

I know it is sexist to criticize Sarah Palin's actual policies. She is irreproachable. So, I won't say this as a criticism, but merely as an observation.

Sarah Palin loves rapists.

John McCain ♥ Pedophiles

Why does John McCain want to protect children from knowing the difference between good touches and bad touches? What does John McCain have to hide here? I understand the need to shore up his credentials with the crucial NAMBLA constituency, but this seems a little too open. Or is America ready to make this a truly historic election, between a black man and a pedophile?

My friends, I think not. As a friend of Silentio just said to me via IM, Obama's most suitable response to this is (in light of the duplicitous turn McCain has decided to take his own campaign): "John McCain: Wrong to be in a room alone with your prepubescent daughter. Wrong for America."

Reformed Maverick

This is well, good, and hilarious .... but, where Brando's fall from grace was greeted by laughter, McCain's fall may well be greeted by an inauguration. Give the people what they want, I guess.

Now, we can laugh at this all we want, but as has been the lesson of this blog for years, The Onion is right:

Smiling Now Primarily Used To Communicate Anger

The smile, a facial expression traditionally used to convey joy, pleasure, or amusement, is now mainly used to suppress rage, according to a five-year study released Monday by the Countenance Institute. "More than 85 percent of smiles are involuntary responses to mounting anger," the study read in part. "In addition, the length and intensity of these smiles directly correspond to the amount of anger the smile is concealing. A smile that lasts less than two seconds represents just a passing annoyance, while a smile of four to eight seconds indicates a genuine hatred for its target." The study noted that individuals smiling for more than one minute while nodding and baring their teeth are most likely preparing to kill the person they are smiling at.

How To Survive The Republican National Convention

If you're like me, you are a glutton for punishment and will inevitably find yourself watching some of the Republican National Convention this week. Now, we each have our own reason for subjecting ourselves to this -- morbid fascination, liberal hope to understand, etc. -- but none of us will be able to survive without proper precautions. In addition to copious amounts of alcohol and/or mind-altering substances, one also needs an appropriate soundtrack. You will need something that will at first blush harmonize with and be approprite to the drone of the speakers, and thus not immediately overwhelming, but will ultimately turn everything on its head and make the time you invested in watching not an entire waste of time. The drugs and alcohol will do most of the heavy lifting here, but appropriate music that does not kill the buzz helps. Tonight, I'm experimenting with La Monte Young's Eternal Music. Feel free to join me:

Part One


Part Two

Four Increasingly Esoteric Thoughts About Politics

§ 1: Picking Sarah Palin strikes me as a very poor decision. A lot of people are calling it savvy (a PR term for "cynical"), but I think that given a little time it will prove very clumsy. Of course, Obama & co. have to tread gingerly when they assail her lack of experience, but this doesn't mean they can't exploit it. As a presidential candidate, Obama has plenty of chances to convince people that he is ready -- he will either do so or he won't. Palin doesn't really have that luxury. Not only will she not get the same amount of media coverage to make her case, having to make the case at all unavoidably reminds people why it is an issue in the first place ... because McCain is older than the dirt that makes up more dirt. Does he seriously want his age & health to be in the back of people's mind, especially as they watch videos of Obama playing hoops and lifting weights? (Maybe if McCain's captors in Vietnam had served more arugula he'd look more lively and vivacious.) Of course, what do I know, Palin may well poach scores of female Democratic & independents voters who (a) are vehemently opposed to abortion (even in instances of rape & incest), (b) are against gay marriage (& health benefits for the domestic partners in same-sex couples), (c) don't care about getting equal pay as a man (unless, that is, she is determined to convince McCain otherwise on this), (d) hate polar bears, and (e) think that human activity has nothing to do with climate change. Oh, and how can I forget, independent women who, like Palin, thought Bush was too moderate and supported super-isolationist Pat Buchanan during the 2000 general election. Barring that, at least she'll be the Far Right's seasonal pin-up girl. Welcome to your base, Senator McCain.

§ 2: After watching Obama's speech last night, I really have a hard time seeing him lose the election. While I've not drank the Kool-Aid on him, and still support him for naively Leftist reasons, I simply cannot envision a defeated Obama. (Note: In the event of a McCain victory, it's so much that I'd be disappointed -- I'm far beyond that at this point. Simply speechless.) He is successfully speaking to the country's better angels, and this might be one of the few times in recent history that the country is open to that. Maybe this is due in part to the crises of climate change and economic decay, to the dread that we are most threatened by those things we cannot help but create. While I don't necessarily put a lot of hope in Obama & co. leading the way on adequately addressing these issues, I do think there is a certain power in a promise believed -- even when that promise is a half-truth (at best). Obama's claims of being post-partisan should be believed, I say, if only because doing so, against Obama's intentions surely, creates a kind of hyper-partisanship, which in effect opens the way to a kind of revolution in the way we as a people set priorities and/or cast our attention.

§ 3: When a lot of people read something like that last sentence, they instinctively and dismissively think I'm describing a utopia, and point out that what I'm arguing for leads to gulags and mass executions. And I say, yes, it can and has. The better angels of our nature rarely win out for too long. But we appeal to them not because they are safe, but because the failure to do so causes us to forget and/or repress the revolutionary kernel of our being: the possibility of creating ourselves as something different. The betrayal of the Other in ourselves, e.g., the rejection without question or pause of a new set of possibilities that do not map out onto the contours of our country's prized pragmatism, is perhaps more destructive than even our persecution of the Other "out there" -- the one(s) we believe threatens us. The latter is deadly, but (typically realized in retrospect) impotent and pathetic. How can one faithfully identify foreign threats when one is not willing to identify the fundamental threat one poses to oneself? Who should trust such a person?

§ 4: We Westerners are a depraved people, for whom our politics are well-suited. This is why many of us say we're more interested in the strategy than the policy, and why one can watch 24-7 cable news coverage of politics and never hear a discussion of what a policy actually means (only how it sells!). But if the religions across the world teach us anything of value it is that redemption or enlightenment emerge only from the depths of our depravity. Would that this be true, and for a moment our depravity got us somewhere productive.

Time For The Grown Ups To Be in Charge

Sen. McCain, we're told by a lot of people in the media, is a serious politician and thinker of foreign policy. So goes the mythology, he has been battle-tested, knows when war is necessary and when it is avoidable, and thus offers this country a steady mind in the face of crisis. He is, in short, an adult with adult perspectives on adult problems, and we can know we're safe under his watch.

And maybe this is true. I know of adults who are scared to let their kids play in the front yard, after hearing of a kidnapping two states to the west of them. I remember a church trip to Kings Island being canceled on me, due to the worries of adults, because another church had a catastrophic bus accident a couple of weeks earlier. Adults are afraid of their children seeing a woman's nipple on television, for fear of the questions it brings up about the human body. What about the children, adults squeal! Will somebody think about the children?!

Similarly, McCain manages to see every international problem as a world-historical threat that can only be faced with brave rhetorical bluster and mature displays of reactionary power. Of Hussein's occupation of Kuwait in 1990, McCain declared "the peace and security of the world for future generations [demand] that the world community act decisively to end the Gulf Crisis now." Four years later he described North Korea's nuclear weapons program as "the most dangerous and immediate expression" of "the greatest challenge to U.S. security and world stability today," warning that "there can be no serious doubt that our vital national interests are imperiled." Five years later, another crisis: "America's most important values—life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness—are under vicious assault by the Milosevic regime." What was needed: "an immediate and manifold increase in the violence against Serbia proper and Serbian forces in Kosovo," including mobilization of "infantry and armored divisions for a possible ground war." And, of course, who can forget the War on Terror: "the transcendent issue of our time" -- "a transcendent struggle between good and evil. Everything we stand for and believe in is at stake here." And more recently, with the situation in Georgia, Russia is exhibiting its desire to "restore the old Russian Empire."

And so goes the storyline, complete with its very serious adult themes, that is McCain's grave vision of international relations. Hyperbole is the name of the game. It's the stuff of grown-ups and maturity.

Obviously, I'm just too young to understand.

An Open Letter

Dear Senators McCain & Obama,

You're both celebrities. You're both filthy rich. You're both ego-maniacs. You're both creations of the media.

You're both unable to live up to the expectations your followers place upon you. You're both unwilling to be the radical reformers you describe yourself as.

You're both crippled by your party. Obama, by Clinton. McCain, by Bush. You're both incapable of fully escaping their dead weight.

Both of your presidencies will in all likelihood be faced with challenges that will either merely ruin or fully devastate your hopes for a legacy worth remembering.

Both of you should know better. Neither of you do.

Your country deserves no better.

Sincerely.