Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Job Idea

After a solid month of full-time (albeit temporary) employment, I am returned to the warm embrace of unemployment. Yesterday, I was able to knock out the final disc of Beckett on Film, read a bit more in Lewis Mumford's The City in History, and cry & moan when the final episode of The Wire didn't appear on On-Demand. In other words, we're back to normal.

Part of this normalcy is for me to fancifully imagine of possible employment scenarios in which I have either the vaguest of interest or most general of skills. Sometimes, it is something as mundane as becoming a librarian; other times, it is as dramatic as returning to the ministry. Each, however, carry within them a sizable educational (and, thus, financial) burden. In order to become a librarian, I would need to complete a two-year Master of Library Science program. To do that on the relative cheap I would need to attend a state university. At present, that means California, a state that already daily manages to kick in the testicular fortitude of our mightest budget.

As for the ministry . . . I am already ordained, but I cannot imagine a scenario in which I could, in good or bad faith, serve in the Christian Church / Churches of Christ. More likely, I would need to change teams, as it were, and pursue an ordination in the United Church of Christ or Episcopal Church. This would mean more seminary education, and, in all likelihood, more student loan burden.

Ideally, I will find something that requires no more additional education. Even more ideal, though, would be something that requires very little effort on my part at all. With this objective in mind, I think I've come up with the perfect solution: providing my services to people who have no friends willing or able to hang out with them.

In a culture of increasing isolation, people often stay at home not because they want to, but because they have nobody to go out with. Be it for lunch, or drinks, etc. I could be that person, for a price. I am a generalist by nature, and can carry my own in almost any friendly conversation. I am opinionated, but also genuinely interested in the perspective of others. I will not quickly agree to what is said, because wholesale agreement is a first-rate conversational killer. I am self-deprecating enough, though, that you could easily dismiss my opinions as those of a crackpot with too much time on his hands. I don't mind sharing my dessert. I become increasingly affable when drinking, and will always recommend very good alcohol. I never win at pool, and I cannot bowl, but love playing anyway. I am, in short, the perfect friend-whore.