Wednesday, September 01, 2004

How Do They Sleep At Night?

The old flat in Glasgow is now vacated, and the mizzus and I have hauled everything we own to Belgium. Exciting times afoot! So exciting, in fact, that I was scouring the internet for news about the Republican Convent at 8.30 am. Hey! Did you know that Kerry might as well call it quits, that he has noooo chance at all, that the polls are all against him in horrible ways, that his campaign is out of touch, that Republicans are actually compassionate after all? Well, if not, don't worry, the American media will surely convince you that neck-and-neck polling is the same as a foregone conclusion, campaign staff additions over the weekend are crisis management, and Republicans are savvy political minds. Rest assured. I can deal with everything but the latter. My stomach turns one more revolution around the tiny stake in my gut each time I'm offered wonderfully helpful behind-the-scenes looks at all the machinations and intentions of an electoral campaign -- what plays where, to whom, why repugnantly medieval theological perspectives are politically viable, etc. Meta-political discourse .... nobody does (and loves every minute of it) it like America. It is, after all, the only way to avoid actually taking a fuckin' stand.

Speaking of American media -- this just makes me want to cry. Where are you Bill Hicks?

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke..." there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart." Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing." Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet! "Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that." God, I'm just caught in a fucking web! "Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..." How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?"